God! My God! It’s you — I search for you! My whole being thirsts for you! My body desires you in a dry and tired land, no water anywhere. – Psalm 63:1 (CEB)
I can think of a lot of reasons why I’m tired; the most obvious being because I get up every day at 5:20 am.
After a few warm days, we got a couple of inches of snow this week. I’m tired of winter.
I hear the news about funding to arm teachers in schools but ignoring the need to fund school psychologists, after school programs, and lunch subsidies. I’m tired of inaction.
Each week I prepare to write prayers of the people, and it is hard to find new words for the same petitions. I’m tired of thoughts and prayers.
When I’m too tired, I can choose to sleep in, stay home in my warm house, turn off the news, or find a prayer someone else has written.
It is a privilege to be tired.
Five minutes are up. Even that is somewhat of a privilege to be able to just stop writing and not remain in a place where I try to find the words for what I feel. There is ease in not having to find a conclusion to what I am trying to say. But it is not satisfying. Maybe being tired – or being at a loss for words, ideas, or optimism – is a necessary place to stay. To sit with what exhausts me or to be in a position where I realize that I can’t do it on my own may actually be healthy and lead to a wholeness that I cannot find when I seek to just ignore being tired.
This post is part of the Five Minute Friday. Each Friday, a one word prompt and five minutes of writing – no editing or rewording. You can read more here.